Store Policies:
Deadpan Exotics, llc
Last updated: September 18, 2025
By placing an order with Deadpan Exotics (“we,” “us”), you agree to the policies below. Our first priority is animal safety and a smooth customer experience.
At-a-Glance (Quick Facts)
We ship Overnight only; Mon–Wed scheduling, weather and animal readiness permitting. Hub pickup is strongly recommended.
Guarantees: Reptiles = live arrival + short health window; Amphibians & most inverts = live-arrival only (see details).
Claim windows: Inverts often have strict 1–2 hour DOA windows; pick up by noon when held at hub.
Weather rules: We follow industry temperature standards for heat/cold packs and when to hold.
Ship-to-Hub: Use a staffed FedEx Ship Center (not FedEx Office/retail partners).
18+ only for live-animal purchases.
Law note: Example — Dubia roaches can’t be shipped to Florida (state restriction).
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We sell non-venomous reptiles, amphibians, and invertebrates.
U.S. sales only. Some species have extra restrictions by state/city; example: Dubia roaches (Blaptica dubia) are prohibited in Florida.
You must be 18+ to purchase live animals.
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You’re responsible for knowing and following your local, state, and federal laws before purchasing/keeping an animal. Orders in violation of law are void of guarantee and may be cancelled.
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Payment is due in full before shipping. We accept major cards and standard site checkout methods.
We do not accept person-to-person apps (e.g., Venmo/Cash App/Zelle) for live animals.
Holds/Payment plans (optional): Non-refundable 50% deposit; balance due by the agreed date. Animals ship only after paid in full.
Cancellations: Before shipping, deposits are non-refundable. After shipping, orders cannot be cancelled.
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Overnight only. We typically ship Mon–Wed to avoid weekend holds.
We may hold your order for animal safety or weather risk.
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We encourage shipping to a staffed FedEx Ship Center for pickup — it’s safer and expands safe temperature ranges with many retailers. Pick up by noon on arrival day.
Note: FedEx Office/retail partner counters (e.g., drugstores) do not accept live-animal “hold for pickup.” Use a true FedEx Ship Center.
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< ~38–40°F: Do not ship; wait.
~38–60°F: Use a heat pack per guidelines.
~60–80°F: No heat/cold pack.
~80–92–95°F: Use a cold/phase-change pack and/or Hub pickup; otherwise hold.
> ~92–95–100°F: Do not ship; wait.
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All Animals — Live Arrival
Guaranteed when:Overnight service is used, and
Someone is present for the first delivery attempt or the box is held at a FedEx Ship Center and picked up by noon.
Reptiles
Live arrival plus 3 day health window. Contact us within 24 hours if anything looks off so we can help.
Amphibians
Live arrival only. Report DOA within 1–2 hours of delivery or hub pickup Include required photos (see next section).
Invertebrates (tarantulas, scorpions, etc.)
Live arrival only. Report DOA within 1–2 hours of delivery or hub pickup Include required photos (see next section).
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To keep claims fast and fair, please send the items below. Keep all packing materials until we finish the review.
Timing (strict):
Invertebrates (tarantulas, scorpions, etc.): Report DOA within 1–2 hours of delivery or hub pickup.
Reptiles/Amphibians: Report DOA as soon as you open the box. For health concerns, contact us within 24 hours of delivery/pickup.
Email subject: Order #____ – DOA/Issue
Attach these photos (clear, well-lit):
Shipping label showing name, address, and tracking number.
Outer box (full shot) and any visible damage (close-ups).
Inside packing (insulation/foam and heat/cold pack orientation).
Cup/bag: one photo before opening, one after opening.
Animal: full-body photo(s) on a plain surface.
Invertebrates: include a photo next to a ruler (for scale).
Reptiles/Amphibians: include a clear full-body photo and any visible concern (mouth, vent, injury, etc.).
Optional but strongly recommended (helps us approve faster):
A single, continuous unboxing video from opening the outer box to the animal being removed from its cup/bag. (A phone video is fine - no edits.)
Important:
Pickups at FedEx Ship Center: Please pick up by noon on arrival day; we verify time via carrier scan.
Do not dispose, freeze, force-feed, medicate, or attempt at-home treatments before we respond - this can void coverage.
Keep all materials (box, insulation, cup/bag) until your claim is resolved.
Resolution:
Approved claims are handled with a replacement, or store credit if a replacement isn’t available. (Shipping costs are not refundable.)
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Email us immediately with your order # (and “DOA” in the subject if applicable).
Attach clear, timestamped photos of the animal and the shipping label; include the packing (insulation/cups/bags).
For inverts, include a photo of the specimen on a ruler.
Keep all packing until we finish the review.
If approved, we’ll issue a replacement or store credit if a replacement isn’t available. (Shipping costs are not refundable.)
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Unless stated, animals may be sold unsexed. Juvenile tarantulas under ~3″ are not sexed by us.
Photos are representative unless the listing states “exact animal” — in which case you receive that individual.
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Live animals are not returnable. Approved claims are handled via replacement or store credit if a replacement isn’t available.
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Expo pickup: We can bring prepaid animals to shows we’re attending. Bring a photo ID and your order email. Missed pickups without prior notice are treated as a cancellation (deposit forfeiture).
Local pickup: When offered, we’ll coordinate a time and location.
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Please have correct habitat, temps, and supplies ready before arrival. Mishandling, leaving packages outside, or delayed pickup voids guarantees. When in doubt, contact us right away — we’re happy to help.
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Questions before or after purchase? Email us — we respond quickly during business hours. If you need to file a claim, contact us immediately and within the stated window to keep coverage intact.
Contact us.
DeadpanExotics@yahoo.com
(701) 269-8225
Jamestown, ND 58401